Dear Future Husband
I have been
stuck on Beyoncé’s album since I downloaded it at the beginning of this week.
Not just because it sounds so good, but because it raised quite a few
questioning eyebrows among feminist circles because of the controversial referral to Ike Turner's episode with Tina Turner on her birthday on the song Drunk In Love.
If I do
claim it, I think firstly I might be classified as a sad girl who has failed
one too many times in a relationship and is seeking solace of some sort within
the comfort of the “sadistic” feminist community, and I really don’t want to be
labelled as such. No girl in their early 20s does! So what do I claim then
because I’m not really the best female material?
·
The
last place you’ll ever find me standing in front of is a stove, unless it is to
make my speciality of fried chips.
·
I’m
not exactly compromising, but on the plus side, I am very understanding. (I’m
not quite sure how that combination works though, hahaha!)
·
To
me, relationships are a partnership. No one is going to have more power over me
because they have a pair of balls, I mean, I’ve also got a pair of tits and
their actually bigger than balls, so what gives the one an advantage over the
other?
·
My
favourite topic to speak about is starting a girl empowerment movement. Oh, and
girls! Girls with tattoos to be exact! I LOVE girls with tattoos!
·
Did
I mention I’m not the domestic type either?
So that’s
me at a bird’s eye view; floating on my
own cloud, pursuing to form and guard some sort of a young empowered female
crusade, fighting the cycle of men being in positions of privilege and
rebelling against stereotypical female duties. I guess I am the F-word. But
before we go too far with that, I have to outline that I have one crucial
anti-feminine practice: I have a very Biblical view of womanhood and of
marriage.
I believe men should be respected as the heads
of the family and I don’t like the idea of male emasculation one bit. I know
this point might seem a bit contradictory to my earlier points but respecting a
man who respects me would only be reasonable.
I don’t want to have more power, I want to
have an equal say in matters that concern either one of us.
I don’t
want to have him by the balls; I want to be like a rib by his side.
I don’t
want to be made to feel inferior, I want to play my role as his helper, and if
that includes stroking his ego when he’s low and slaving away in front of a
stove, then so be it.
You see, I
won’t claim the feminist label because it’s clear that I am not set in the
feminist way of thinking, but I will claim that I want girls to realize their
potential and not through the approval of men. And if you want to label me as
a feminist because of that, then I will gladly accept it.
Let’s face
it, my form of “feminism” is somewhat similar to that of Beyoncé’s, it’s unconventional
and flawed. So what? We’re all imperfect humans just being, and how we choose
to be is really up to us, it shouldn’t be up to the musings and observations of
a sometimes overtly feminist society, that’s what it is.
In fact, I
think it’s time that we started redefining the modern day feminist. Turn her
into a clean-shaven, push-up bra wearing, man-lover, or whatever the case may
be, because in all honesty I believe that each and every woman should be a
feminist, but a feminist on their own terms. We should not be bound by
unchanging academic theories; instead we should take a stance and interpret
feminism according to our own individuality. At the end of the day, whether I’m
spending my days empowering young girls and my nights dancing along to Beyoncé’s
Drunk in Love in my flat, that’s my
choice. I have my heart in the right place and I’m making a difference, and
that’s what really matters, NOT being the ultimate feminist.
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